On a saturday night..

Kindof lost the feel to lock in any more posts under this blog skin. cos the main reason of what initially sparked off this blog is now gone...or has it (he)?

but meanwhile, this will still the dumping ground for my more often than none gibberish and ramblings.

woke up really early today, despite a really late friday night, cos of visiting contractors but my day is really only starting now. i am the perpetual procrastinator...not even money calling can move my slacker ass...tat's really....ermm slacker-ism to the max.

my left foot's swelled up a little cos i had playfully dug (or isfit digged?) it into dirty (omg) sand @ siloso last night and i think something bite me =( but i kindof like the swell cos it makes my skinny foot looks fat HAHAHA! though the other one remains looking skinny.

can't wait to be at st. mary's tomorrow morning. it's animals' blessing day and all the animals get to be blessed at 2pm!! it'll be an awesome moment, i can't wait. i wish i could bring louis there as well for his dose of spiritual blessing but i've to work. i'll probably bring him for the next one.

Finally..

Check out the time and I'm sleepy already. I need to somehow get a portfolio done by tonite and i've a feeling it's gonna look damn sloppy but .. IDC! sloppy attitude..

I just wanna read, write something, paint something and sleep. Wake up to read and paint again...and dream a little....and be happy and self satisfied in this manner for as long as i want to.

Good news, i've made up my bloody mind to pack my bags next yr. Bad news, they're only giving me 1 semester of adv. standing i dun believe it!!! but tat's just a preliminary assessment from the faculty. i'm waiting..and hoping..and praying.

Swan Lake

Swan Lake by the Royal Ballet UK here 2 years ago was a world-class performance! I would pay anything just to catch it one more time. And Tchaikovsky's score couldn't be any more perfect for this. btw, it was commissioned for the performance in 1875!

anyways i'm posting this cos swan lake on ice is coming next mth and i've already got my tickets C:

I will love

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i love thee =)

shopping for louis is always a delight! C: especially when his birthday is coming up in 2 months' time!

simply lovely arent they!

every little thing's gonna be alright....

it wasn't a good monday.

i'm gonna retreat into my comfort hole and indulge in delirious? and be assured in prayers that everything's gonna be alright for myself and for everyone tomorrow.

* * *























Everything must change
There’s a mirror showing me the ugly truth
These bones they ache with holy fire
But I’ve got nothing to give, just a life to live
If your world is without colour
I will carry you, if you carry me

Every little thing’s gonna be alright
Every little thing’s gonna be alright

There’s no-one else to blame
I live my life between the fire and the flame
I’ve built my house where the ocean meets the land
It’s time to live again, pull my dreams out of the sand
Let your world be full of colour
I will carry you, if you carry me

When it’s all falling down on you
You’re crying out but you’re breaking in two
When it’s all crashing down on you
When there’s nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you

* * *
cldnt get the actual mv by delirious? but found one adapted with edward scissorshands (my fav show) so enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GUii_u1qXY

fop was AWESOME!

praise and worship was awesome and a good duration too! i've always felt that the entire congregation should come together and dedicate more time for praising and worshipping. the atmosphere from p&w totally beats any other concerts in this world! i'm SUPER satisfied C:

and can i say delirious? was rocking AWESOME!! you gotta get their album mann! this uk band totally rocks, giving you music with a full presence of god. and they've got some really cool graphic works too! it was a good fop 2007! thank you px for the encouragement earlier this evening and thank you sis for the thoughtful pressie! C:

* * *

throughout the journey home from west coast mac, i realised there is a critical need for me to make a few strict resolutions for myself tonight and keep to it the minute i wake up tomorrow morning (i mean in a couple hours' time). perhaps i've allowed too mch helium into my head recently i should start putting both feet firmly on the ground and be a resolute person. yea.

so resolution #1 specifically for the 'crooks' : the wise men say do not make people a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs. perhaps sometimes it only makes sense to snap out of the "see the good in everything/everyone" becos you only end up hurting yourself. but then again, i choose not to give up this faith. but what do you do when someone dear hurts you emotionally? can u still keep on going? i guess it's true that everything takes 2 hands to clap. if i had not acted/behaved in a certain way, then perhaps i would not have been hurt the way it happened. yea..so...hmm. it's time to get out of heart-over-heads!
* * *

anyways, seeing sm and gx's holiday pictures and that powerpoint really makes me smile, they're a blessed couple! and the thought of sis going out with jon tomorrow makes me happy C: i'm glad my friends are happy and i hope they realise the blessings they have in their lives and that we'l always keep the faith to bring sunshine into someone else's life.

love,
a

A lovely tea break treat from bernice =)

so pretty i can't bear to eat it =(

You never try, you never know.

and there really are nice people around. =)

a great start on a Thursday morning. I managed to have the finance charges for 2 creditcards waived and M1 was such a sweetheart to top up my sunperks points (within 1min over the phone) to round it up to 2500 pts which allows me easier redeemption.

so the dilemma now is - should I redeem 1500pts (and forfeit the balance 1000 pts) for a S$25 coffee club voucher which I will definitely use or should i ultilise full 2500 pts for a S$40 swenson's voucher that i am less enthusiastic about? hmmm...

anyway....here i am in the cooling wee hours of the morning reminising and musing and dreaming myself happy =)

last nite, louis jumped onto the dining table and drank from my cup!

yea there are a million and one things on my mind.

and sweet liz gave me a hello kitty luggage tag today that she bought over the weekend to cheer me up =)

and i thought the only curse i have is migraine. i think i had a slight gastric pull tonite. i know real gastric pains are mad but this was awful enough and made me really nauseous and giddy i feel like knocking myself out. i shouldnt have taken the tom yam soup on an empty stomach! *deep frown*

sis's at the force vomit gig which i had actually wanted to go too but decided i'm too tired to enjoy anyway. having a packed weekend ahead which really dulls me out (already). and i felt bad for lamenting over dinner earlier that certain things irritate me. i realised 'irritate' is a strong word.

i need to breathe badly. alone.

are there brakes on roller coasters?

3:21pm: i fell once again into your empty embrace.

3:37pm: and took in your fabricated truths.

stupidly and willingly. i'm through (with u) i think.

"My hopes were so high that your kiss might kill me.
So why didnt you kill me, so I could die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury,
or wear as jewellery, which ever you prefer."

mid-week grumps

didn't have the appetite or mood for a good lunch so for the first time i actually had the fish soup instead of my usual steak / oxtail stew. and i skipped dessert as well. geesh.

sis finally solved part I of her jon mystery and i'm still stuck in the dumps with mine. bother bother bother!! i should get out more and be distracted.

Figuring it out..

figuring out what goes on in a man's mind is like trying to count the number of planes on a piece of transformer. i suppose guys are not as not-complex-as-women as we (i) think they are. had a brief conversation with a friend today and sad to say, he admitted that some of the meanest things that a guy do/say are purely and simply becos "it's a male thing." i'm turned off by the fact that how "it's a male thing" seems to justify and warrants every nasty inconsiderate mean thing that they do/say. certain things puzzle me slightly but yet enough to bother and ripe me of my energy just being bothered and trying to figure things out from empty air (becos guys DON"T like explaining. they think it's wimpsy to explain). i think sis is upset over her situation that she don't feel like talking abt it anymore. and i get more and more upset and crazy (till i frown) whenever i think abt mine. sheesh, i need distractions.

i'm back! we are back!

and wished we aren't!

on our way home from the airport last night, sis said for the first time, she can't bear to see the night scenery of spore. my mind was somewhere else in dan shui, missing the sunset and sea breeze at the wharf, and reviving the intensity on ashin's face when he sings. if you ask me now, yes i wanna go for the macau and australia concerts as well!!

tried to whisk myself back to cosmopolitan spore and tried to gear myself for work today but still, today remain largely unproductive (as with the case with sh) and dreamy, yet there's lots (of urgent things) to do...geesh i hate it when my heart doesn't correspond with my mind.

anyway last night was not a good night. was totally pissed with mum becos she was annoyed that i said "i didnt know how to buy lotus seeds" when the ones i bought were the wrong ones. she said i should've said "the salesgirl told me these are the lotus seeds they produce in taipei so I bought these for you and i'm not sure if they are the right ones." oh mann thanks so much for choosing to correct the way i should phrase myself at 2am after a 4hr lcc flight! and she was annoyed over my purchases (which doesn't include the bag of new clothes i hid in the closet) which made me doubly upset.

and then there was some not so good news. bc has to visit the hospital again for drips *frown* he's gotta do this everyday for the time being and i'm seriously worried and just spaced-out and dunno what to do or how to react. what should i do in such a situation? *frown*

digressing: quoting sh quoting monster "when his mum was sick, music become nothing."

too tired and lazy to be verbose so here's in summary:
- i ought to be finishing my work in the office now but i'm super sleepy and tired.
- i have not charge my new phone.
- i'm feeling angry with myself for bringing the cd walkman out. an empty one.
- my brain's feeling a little concussed at this moment.

so wat's comforting today?
it's a pleasant surprise that many friends have asked if i wanna watch nic's show together, including my boss! wohoo thks so much for sharing my likes with me...muahaha!!! C: but honestly, i dun have much high expectation for this film.

im a sucker for ambience! =P

i can't believe this is the closest I got to for Flute at the Fort...up a flight of granite steps and 2 pictures! awww...silly silly me forgot to make a reservation and it was fully booked when we were there! wasted 10 bucks on valet parking and totally upset we missed our dinner at this awesome place. so upset i told bc i wanna eat fried kway tiao with cockles instead.















but in the end, we went to dempsey park for some authentic korea cuisine which was really ex but only so-so! I think dempsey's quite cool to go to if you drive. there's a really nice ps cafe that's something along the likes of what you find in rochester but more cosy, luxurious and detailed in its decor and furnishings. i always like lush couches, sofas and lounging spaces. yea so anyway still upset to miss out flute but happy to discover a new ps cafe to go to in future.

when you look at yourself, you are depressed.
when you look at your circumstances, you are distressed.
when you look at Him, you are at rest.

still contemplating whether or not to lug along the dvd player for onboard entertainment this thursday or would a nice book be a better choice. omg i can't believe it's just 3 days away! sure feels like a long time since i last run off on a holiday. still a little sad that i missed winter in australia this year but sis said hope we'll be able to go for the hillsongs conference next yr, i'm really looking forward to that! like really really!

treated the office to lunch at the ship today cos benson just came back from reservist (in appreciation for their understanding towards my weird moods during my exams period) followed by some nails pampering at fave nails for liz, jj and me. it was impromptu and i didnt have slippers to change into so i walked bare footed back office. i think only i can do this kind of thing.

wat do you do on a thursday evening?

oh well i did the test twice cos as usual....i've a problem figuring out my split personalities. but i think my friends will agree i'm seriously half strawberry and half pistachio. yes, no?

You Are A Strawberry Ice Cream Girl

Sweet. Romanic. Genuine.

What Flavor Ice Cream Girl Are You?

You Are A Pistachio Ice Cream Girl

Funky. Surprising. Wild.

What Flavor Ice Cream Girl Are You?

How gross! cranberries and popcorn on your christmas tree...zzzz

You Are a Cranberry and Popcorn Strung Tree

Christmas is all about showcasing your creative talents. From cookies to nicely wrapped presents, your unique creations impress everyone.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

ok i did this twice (again) and had the same results. not too bad. i like soho but would've preferred park avenue =)

You Belong in Soho

Although you may not be a professional artist, you do dabble in one form of art or another. And you indie culture of all kinds - from little botiques to art house films.

Where Should Your Inner New Yorker Live?

eeks! why can't they match this description to a cute pink seahorse instead?

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

absolutely touched that the girls all sent their congrats today and sister called up almost right after my sms abt my results and she was even more cheerful than i was hahah. once again, i live to annouce that i can't live without this bunch of awesome friends! you girls rock! if i have to will 2 million bucks, you girls get 1 mil oki! even if i only have 40cts to will, you lot will still get ermm..20cts la! LOL!! and i'm glad to hear from px that she had her so-called "serenity.. peaceful" rest at home on her off day and she did some housekeeping with some new stuff from ikea. well well...good for her.

suddenly i'm not sure if i'm excited abt collecting the transcripts or the dinner tonight.

the office's acting crazy since last night. they screened my attire first thing today, asked crazy questions, offered to make me up, and left a note (before heading out) to say good luck. ermm....very crazy of them but glad they're sooo participative...hahah. anyway we had a fun ktv session last nite. benson brought along his gf (finally)! and i was off-my-feet happy that everyone cheered for nic's song (yin wei ai shou yi ai). jj and i totally roared with our husky voices when it comes to the chorus part! super =) i played a few of mayday's hokkien songs too but half the group's cantonese-based (jj & polly) and the rest are mandarin chee-nas (me, liz, benson & his gf) plus 2 potatoes (bernice and jude).

max's away on a backpack trip so i'll be collecting his results for him tonight. i really hope he gets something he's happy with. same thoughts for angel too. the bottomline is, we all managed to pull through the 18 months together. can't wait for seowjie to be back from the states and get the august party plans rumbling!!

crazy sh and sy are going for 3rd night mayday concert! omg!! i've a feeling it's highly likely that i'll be super enthu to go for the 3rd night as well after the 1st night's concert but sigh...cannot waste money liddat leh....plus i think i should accompany joanna since she's gonna be alone on friday night already. kindof excited that we have plans to bring her to "chiong" for her birthday in taipei! we'll turn her into a taiwan la(4) mei(4) for once in her demure life! tsk tsk!!! omg i can't wait for next thursday to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm crazily happy now =)
not too sure abt tonight..

just packed my bag for work tomorrow and here's what you can find inside =)
1/ nin jiom pei pa koa
2/ my pink sony cd-walkman with my fav b/w earphones
3/ temp. nokia phone with dog bitten marks all over
4/ portable hard disk
5/ crazily heavy wallet
6/ mini torn & tattered little twin stars star-shaped notebook + mini pen
7/ trusty digi cam
8/ a slightly-dirty mini blue kitty stuffed toy *i like the dirt on it actually..makes it more personal*
9/ my retro aviator shades

there! i'm happy to go to work now C:


aww i miss grocery shopping and above all, i miss being inside dean and deluca.

can't wait to go home at 6 sharp to watch alfie and have an early night (if i can). had been up till 4am last nite becos of the cough. jj is on sick leave for 2 days and bh is falling ill too. geesh.

suddenly i'm all perked up now that we're finally solving the flight problem for sh. how i wish i had the chance to be onboard the hello kitty eva air plane. imagine a hello kitty boarding pass!!!!!!!!

i think i can doze off if i shut my eyes for 30 seconds now...

i cant believe i actually woke up to a rainy saturday morning. how awesome! it's been an awfully long while since i had a free saturday morning. supposed to go han-san's with sy this morinng but i'm just so so tired out.

didnt manage to get much sleep and my voice have totally cracked up. i croaked worse than the toad right now. it was a great evening last nite meeting up with sm, sh, zl, px and gx. we hang out at vivo till pretty late before gx took over my car and drove us to pick up the cambodia stuff from xw's place. cos i guess i was totally exhausted from that one-hour phonecall and still feeling unwell.

max thinks my blog is too awfully sad for good. yea...mabbe i should shut it down. hmm. and leave those meaningless memories behind.

sis managed to get her leave approved for taipei wohoo! i knew it would happen! J rulez! i'm just wondering how the hell she's gonna make it from airport to hotel to concert on time. liz asked if i was worried that the concert might be cancelled (like rain's, which was called off just 1.5hrs before) and i told her so affirmingly that i was quite surprised at my reaction myself, even if the stage settings were not ready, mayday will still perform for their audience live and rocking! omg...the egg! the crowd! wu yue tian!!!

sis if u read this.....i kindof miss u quite badly......come back quick...

i'm in for it this time. had a scratchy throat working up on me this afternoon. and now the flu's starting. and the next thing that's gonna happen is insomnia tonight and then falling ill tomorrow. and good news is i did not finish my antibiotics 2 weeks ago when i was ill. hoo-lah.

now that school's out. i think it's time i do something about my constant self-rebuke for "ought to be more bothered by the things happening around me". so i made the efforts to pay more attention to alot of things lately, and the outcomes leave me even more emotionally tangled whether it is such a good idea to pay attention at all.

a friend's friend passed away a couple of weeks ago. in a car accident just like that. his car skidded and crashed into a tree. it wasn't even drunk driving. he was a really nice chap who sent candice and me to the airport just less than a yr ago. old people passed away and we've accepted that as part and parcel of life. but to know of a friend/acquaintant's depart, especially someone who once walked into our lives and someone no more different than you and me just doesn't seem real. if i can feel it so tremendously, i'm sure it affected his immediate friends and family even more *ponder*

i shld get an immediate failure for setting 594 by 840 as a2 size for the last 2 months. just like how rolling back 2m down a slope during your driving test warrants an immediate failure. how can anyone roll back 2 bloody metres. yea how can any designer tell you 594 by 840 is a2 size. omg i'm so hopeless.

everyone has gone abroad and everyone has come back. already. i have spent half a decade of my first decade of adulthood erm well...having fun...wasting monies...being half-wasted away. half my peers have probably worked in some global congress and/or be a translator for the united nations and back! i'm kidding but not totally kidding.

there goes my mid-life crisis ramblings...shall continue when i'm in a deeper melancholic mood.

tell me he is NOT so romantic!

C: my 2mins of guilty indulgence before i start my 7-hr shift with fh and psd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9uoYJ9xPBM&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMDeZJRAhNQ&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUiRHw3oHxk

side note: my fav new word - WTMD! *evil smile*

everytime i think of you
i get a shot right through
into a bolt of blue
it's no problem of mine
but it's a problem i find
living the life that i can't leave behind
there's no sense in telling me
the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
but that's the way that it goes
and it's what nobody knows
and everyday my confusion grows

every time i see u falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for th efinal moment
you say the words that i cant say
i feel fine and i feel good
i feel like i never should
whenever i get this way
i just dont know what to say
why cant we be ourselves like we were yesterday

im not sure what this could mean
i dont think you're what you mean
i do admit to myself
that if i hurt someone else
then i'll never see just what we're meant to be


tonight's thoughts:
/ i'm in love with her voice.
/ goodbye beautiful winter in australia, you will have me next year
/ will i forget you after we part?

i finally grew tired of my work.

i'm recording this down so i can come back again to tell myself it's all under the influence of the sick bugs. for the record, this is the 3rd day and i'm running a 37.2 degrees temperature and i hate ROUND panadols!! my head is throbbing.

do people get super melancholy when they're sick? i missed the spring assessment on wed's class which raymond brought in andrew to assess...awww.... i so hate myself (even more) for being sick. but i heard half the class wasn't present either so fucked it and quit worrying. seriously i can't be any more bothered than to get just a pass for final major, get the fucking diploma and get my life straighten out for the rest of the year in slower pace. figure wat i really wanna do or be. it's probably the irritating fever but sh's words are echoeing in my mind "i hate my work". it's so hard to give up a job where i can periodically nudge my friends and say hey wanna go krabi for free? but fucked it, i've travelled enough (to the places that i don't wanna travel to). omg i'm so screwed. i'm twenty six how can i even have a career crisis at twenty six?!

i enjoyed the influence mayday has on me.
there are good bands and 'not so good' bands. good music and not so good music. linkin park makes you wanna swear. so what does mayday do (to me?) it, well, makes my dessert tonight taste sweeter than it actually is and it makes you realise life is actually a box of yummy dark chocolates.

suddenly i don't feel nerve-wrecked about the impending fmp presentation anymore
suddenly i could face my unhappy work happily
suddenly i feel i am capable of accomplishing the things i wanna accomplish
suddenly i no longer dread the dreaded stuff
and suddenly i feel confident (once again)

thank you sy and thank you sh (=

"Please note that ONLY submissions from professional business sources will be evaluated and responded to. We do not issue licenses for in-classroom uses or non-broadcast, non-commercial public performances. We do not accommodate personal requests for tapes or footage from Paramount properties."

I am so dejected.

Damn. So Ben couldn't be any more right. The authentic Audrey Hepburn's images are freaking hard to get. Motion Pictures is controlling her photographs like no tomorrow, they rejected my request for a home license and won't even consider selling! And her estate who's controlling her image is unreachable, which, I will try again tomorrow. Oh bother!

So what's interesting? I'll tell ya.

It'll be an interesting Wednesday the 30th. Becos boss has a surprise for us! She's gonna leave the office at 2 and we're left with the instruction to leave the office at 430 (what?!) to drive all the way to Serangoon Gardens, location XXX to meet her because she has a surprise for us. We were totally stunned, and extremely excited, and going totally crazy trying to guess what it is about. It's like picking up the trail of bread crumbs to see what's in store (exclusively) for you (what if the options' either the devil or the deep blue sea?). How interesting can my job get huh!

Anyway besides that, I'm totally looking forward to meet the girls for ktv after school tomorrow. OMG! The hype is certainly building up for the concert this sat!

Happy happy happy! Fun fun fun! That's all I wanna think about now. Bite me!

This is my 3rd entry within a day. That's bad. I have absolutely zero mood to do my project. Yet I keep thinking about how lagged I am every minute while I watched Elizabethtown, while I slacked out on the bed, while I eat, basically while I doing anything else except working on the proj. So that means I didn't get to at least have the best of one world. Becos if I was kept busy with all these worried thoughts on my mind, I fucking didn't enjoy the best of the time that I've chosen to waste pigging out. Oh bother!

Elizabethtown! Reminds me of the 3hr ride from melbourne airport to mt. buller. I love road trips. The ost's pretty good too. Was pleasantly surprised by moon river. I can never get enough of that song.

I'm craving badly for tim tams. I've finished whatever I have at home and I'm just particularly craving for the raspberry ones which are in the office's fridge! The craving is like having ants inside me zomg!

Can't believe almost half a year of 2007 has gone by just like *snap* that? Anyway, I'm pretty prep up for the morning swim tomorrow. I need to re-organize my life. Hahah as if it'll ever work out the way I plan it to but still, got plans better than no plans. So here goes my mid-year resolutions that'll probably get you rolling out on the floor laughing (cos i was laughing at it myself):

1/ reach office at 8am to read the ST daily
2/ get addicted toextra shot vanilla latte or vanilla milkshake
3/ go to church every sunday
4/ exercise every sunday before/after church
5/ dress well for work everyday no matter how tired I am
6/ no taxi no taxi no taxi no taxi
7/ read every issue of the art projects magazine
8/ quit calling 1900 777 7777 for help all the time
9/ reduce mobile bill from S$100+ to S$30 every month otherwise i'm banned from buying the art projects magazine for that month
10/ quit thinking about you


11/ Own a dream

On a saturday late afternoon.

It's pouring and i'm in one of my romantic moods again..

Isn't it wonderful to take a really hot shower with the sound of rain so clear and near you through the windows of your bathroom. It brings back fond memories of luxurious resort holidays with open-concept bathrooms, pebble flooring, rainforest shower heads and best of all, above you is the sky! There's no roof, no see-through ceiling, nothing at all that separates you from touching the sky.. literally...while you shower! And stretching in front of you when you look out of the windows is an awesome blue ocean with beautiful ripples from the falling rain. These, my friend, are the priceless luxuries that give me the reason to breathe in this world. Not to mention slipping into my favourite stark white singlet and white/gold cotton pyjamas pants from old navy.

It's one of those moments to cuddle up really close with a loved one on a super king-sized fluffy bed and have a dreamy and nice conversation. Right now, i'll just settle to cuddle up in my super fluffy sofitel bed with a furless louis *anti-climax sound effect* with michael buble playing in the background.

5 years ago, I had been speeding down the lane pretty steadily I could say in pursue of the sense of accomplishments I had always prioritised no. 1 in my life. Love was nowhere on top of the list. Musing on the conversation with sista last night, I admire how focused she is to always wanna remain in the backseat and take everything slowly in her own pace (although i could also have my arguement that that equates nua-ness). I've moved too fast. I don't think i've actually taken the time to appreciate the trips to japan, korean, new york or even cameron highlands which is a beautiful place. Right now, I guess I finally wanna switch to gear 2 to cruise and be contended being a simpleton. And the only way to be contend is to heart God. Secular temptations can only bring you further from where you (i) truly wanna be. And I wanna be in love again. To be in love with someone who can make me a better person and to see the good in people/life. I was fortunate to have been with such a someone. The only unfortunate thing was I wasn't ready to love then. And I hope it's not too late to start learning how to (truly) love now.

With a big packet of mee goreng+omelette, this is definitely the evening to be in mood for a good movie at home. alfie or elizabethtown or a long engagement...hmm...or a repeat of a drew barrymore dvd...

what's romantic to you? here's my list:
- rainy nights
- snuggling up in bed on rainy nights with your sweetheart
- moon river
- kissing
- eating ice cream on rainy days
- sharing things
- conquering adventures together
- playing red alert together as opponents


*happy and loved*

Michael Buble had me.

God had me.

You had me.

Just got home after a fulfilling bible study session and nydc sup with sista. I still can't believe bs has come to an end. There's a deep sense of loss within even though i could probably count with my fingers (erm maybe plus toes) the no. of times i attended bs since 1999. Everything goes way out of whack w/o God. Humans just can't manage the scale of life on his own. I know i can't.

It has been a beautiful night tonight.
Thank you sh, for being my sista and thank you Lord, for being my redeemer.

OM OM OMG!

Another summer day has come and gone away
In Paris or Rome, but I wanna go home
Maybe surrounded by a million people
I'm still all alone
Just wanna go home
I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane, another sunny place
I'm lucky I know but I wanna go home
I got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna go home

And I feel like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream, but you always believed in me

Another winter day has come and gone away
In either Paris or Rome and I wanna go home
Let me go home


never really a big fan of michael buble before but i'm telling you, this IS the best inside-a-NY-apartment-on-a-rainy-day song.

what do you do in a sardine-packed lift and a cockroach running loose?
i shall NOT tell you what i did.


finally had a chance to satisfy my craving for some hk marcaroni+luncheon meat with the girls at a hk cafe at liang seah st after class today. and they serve your eight-treasures tea in a bloody water jar and expect you can finish it all by yourself!

raymond asked what's my plans after graduation. seriously, i have no clue. and no answers for anyone who bother to ask. i just wanna get by the days the way i am getting by now. until something or someone bolts me outta my space. i'm living the life i can't leave behind and everyday my confusion grows. i enjoy being cheerfully melancholic.

feels awesome not having to work tomorrow, the next day, the day after and the day after after. would've yearned to watch alfie, elizabeth town or a long engagement into the wee hours of the night but the burdens are too heavy to be able to enjoy the movies. i'm making mental image-transformations. Ugly huge mountains turn into hersheys' kisses in His hands.

Here's myy DIY lunch. 3-layered milk bread with 4 slices of melted cheese and 3 slices of honey-baked ham. and 6 sinfully delicious chocolate eclairs that literally melt in your mouth, which i've selfishly gave 1 (only!) to benson and thank goodness Liz doesn't take chocolate *evil selfish laugh*






















More birthday presents..





















































* * *
one man's meat is another man's poison.

you are too crap for me. too crap.

My new b/w earphones

The thing with design, my design is, they're soo versatile. they look awesome at 3am and they look shit at 8am.

had a really compelling, mind-bothering urge to buy myself something, anything today. so i transferred that shopping force to pet lovers and was lugging 20 cans of dog food home.

I need Him in my life.

After the conversation with bh 2 weeks ago, I've been thinking alot. Like really alot as to where I need to bring myself for the next 5 years of my life. Let's just work on 5 years first. Bh said i really shouldn't be moving backwards when i told her i won't mind going back to a 2k/mth job to be a designer. She said I should be confident and self-secured enough to take on a no. 2 position job for what i've accumulated over the last 5 years of working. But to be honest, i think i belong to the category where i'll never see myself in a managerial position. I dunno...I used to be proud of my ambitious character and used to think i am capable to perform in higher platforms. But that fighting spirit in me seems to have die a slow death over the years and now i've lost all confidence that i'm up to the mark for anything. Mabbe i've lost God, the only source of winning spirit that i used to have.

Sometime last night suddenly i seem to hear God speak. I'm happy doing what i'm doing now becos it's the things i'm familiar with. But i can't continue like this becos that's really a lazy attitude towards life and work, and slowly that attitude will eat me up and made me worthless. By then i'll be the greatest disappointment to everyone and myself. So this is the morning that i woke up to, having a very clear direction in my head that i'm gonna pull my shadow back and fight. The glam of working in a regional office is tempting and appealing but i'm gonna give it another half a year more to go (till bonus time..well wat do you expect!). If nothing appropriate comes along within the orgainsation, i shall pick up my courage to move on. By then i hope i'll be clear-minded enough to know exactly what i want. That brings me back 3yrs ago when I've made a career/personal growth plan that joining bh will only be a 2yr hiatus (in a way) so that i could make use of the time and money flexibility to accomplish what I needed to (getting my driver's license and finishing a design diploma) so right now, bringing back that checklist plan, the tasks are almost completed although it's taken a little longer more than 2yrs. I need to get back on the main road traffic confident enough to take the speeding lane.

Having plans AND taking actions to adhere to it made me confident.

So right now I'll leave the good next 6 months for God to handle in His own time and wisdom and by the time jan 08 comes, I know i'll have my next blueprint to work on.

It's my birthday!

Suddenly i've truckloads of tim tams in my house. 6 from sydney colleague and another 4 from perth aunt. I'm not a sucker for titbits and chocolate craving is really a mood thing for me but they do taste very very delicious! Especially when you leave them out in room temperature and the chocolate coating starts to melt a little.

Hasn't got much to say about my birthday cos everything's been a windwhirl this week. There were however a few things that really got me. Angel emailed to say happy birthday and sorry he could only send his wishes through a lousy email cos he's away (amongst other things that's happening around since we hardly have time to have proper conversations), i felt the sincerity in those words. I think i'm a person who place alot of emphasis on words even though i absorb better than i could produce them myself. And it was 2 yrs ago that I realised I couldnt receive this part from bc. Yea it may seem unfair but i guess a big portion of my feelings are emotionally attached to words. Anyway I digressed. Benson was very funny...texted to say due to limited network coverage, nicholas couldn't send his regards so he's sending on behalf...lol...silly but it amuses me. And sy and sh who showed how much they understand their friend here with nic and da dong's photo attachments on my birthday card. I really really like the notion of it. I love you guys lots and lots!

Spiderman 3 was good. Been thinking alot lately how i'm not bothered by alot of things as much as i ought to be.
"your choices make you who you are" how powerful that we can mould ourselves the way we want to (almost) and how dangerous that can be cos fine lines exist in everything. We really shouldn't act or behave at will without thinking how our decisions and choices could and would affect our roles in life and how it would affect the people around us. That's why we need God becos He is the only foundation that is steadfast as a rock.
Humans waver, all the time.

Will be going town midnight tonight. Gotta take shots of the orchard underground tunnel when it's empty and also drop by the office to check out who's the mystery sender of the bouquet of flowers. Bc said his delivery is scheduled for tomorrow cos i'm on leave today but he doesn't know i'm also not working tmr. It was quite funny...i called and asked "hey u send me flowers is it." And he too, casually as-a-matter-of-fact replied "no leh, mine's tomorrow." "what flowers?" "red roses loh" LOL We've come to a stage whereby i no longer get agitated and give repulsive reactions towards his gestures. After 2 years i can finally settle my feelings and dine together at ease now. Although I still feel i'm an evil person for the decision i made 2yrs ago and that decision would warrant my singlehood for a loooong (or mabbe eternal) time but i stick to my philosphy of accepting the consequences for the decisions and choices I made for myself. So right now I guess that's the only way to move on, to face each other and not think about the past anymore. just move on.

Poor louis in an e-collar. He can't get into his kennel cos the collar's too big for the entrance and he keeps knocking against furnitures when making turns. Very clumsily amusing LOL. But he's getting better, amen. Mum's mopping the floor everyday and spraying disinfectant like more than what's necessary. She didnt do these when i was sick??!!

Before





After




He has the same "stare" look.

My 4th Birthday Present

louis's tray of medicine ):
























a yummy colour!






















i miss these so!